A moment before a new week...

And, sitting, thinking, wondering, thoughts kind of soaring around my head, some land, others just pass readily by. There’s so many things you can be afraid of, worried about. So many things you can dread, really NOT look forward to, want to avoid. But, then you know, you will just have to face them. They will come, sooner or later. Tomorrow morning, or a year from today. Sometimes I wish so badly that everything in life would just be comfortable, suited to my liking. That I wouldn’t have to be worried, knowing that I will have to face what I don’t want to. But, I know this will grow boring. I know that I wont be able to just sit and gloat over my blessings and my life. I know I wont be content. It’s actually a blessing this yearn to reach for more, wanting to see more, experience and be challenged. I know I’m created with this wish to allways learn, strive for more. Being misplaced or defeated will only temporarily stop me, I know I’ll get up sooner or later... so, no need to halt, hold back when I’m not at all in a place of defeat. I don’t even have to fight, just stick it up, lift my shoulders, speack up, smile and thank God for the coming day and for the moment. Cause the trials I’m meeting aren’t at all bringing me down, just making me have to take an extra long breath, look over my shoulder, lift my head and remind myself again of everything I’m thankfull for. Think of scary things as exciting, akwardness as fun and not worth offering any more thoughts, feelings of not coping as good, cause than I know I have a lot to learn. I don’t have to prove anything, but having a willing spirit, a good attitude and an honest and open heart is enough. I know I can’t loose anything by being myself, I know I’m not defeated, cause the battle is one that can only be won, one way or the other. The battle is to live every moment in thankfulness, joy and worrielessnes, cause I know that I don’t have to carry anything alone. Coming to him everyday assures me that I’ve won, whatever defeat I may feel, whatever hopelessnes or embarressment, I will get through, and I know that it won’t matter in the long run. Cause living for him and not for myself means I don’t have anything to loose.