Teaching in the high school here, I’ve meet som challenges. Trying to make the kids aware of gender inequalities isn’t all that easy. I’ve done several activities with them to make them aware of the assumptions we have about how men and women should behave, or what they should and should not do. The thought behind this is to try and discover some of the root causes to GBV. But, now I just feel confused, like all of this is just a maze of should and should not. And like I’m somehow trying to convince them of modern ”westernized” thoughts that men can cook and that they don’t have to be the only providers for the family. But, this is not what I want to do. I find that it’s so easy to have your own agenda, especially when I’m new in this area, it’s hard to let the class take an unexpected turn and actually let the kids decide what to talk about. Their attituted will never change if I try to force some set of ideas and morals on them. It has to come from them.
But, how do you reach in with thoughts and values of men respecting their wives and that loving them means letting them be them and accomplish other things than cooking and having babies. I’m a young white girl... what do I have to say in these matters. Right now I wish I was a teacher and had some faboulus speaking skills. I think it is hard to link all the topics together, to actually ask questions that really make them think, and not just blurt out with my opinion.
How are these things actually connected then? Gender assumptions are being kept and made by the community which is many individuals. Taught to the kids, and brought further on. Believing that women should cook, be at home and so on is not wrong. What I think is wrong are when these thoughts maybe show an underlying theme that is that women are less worth, mens property, and somehow restricted. There aren’t any rules about where men can not go and what they can not do. When men become superior, it is easier for them to view women as property, as something they own and therfore can do whatever they want with. But, this does not show in all the opinions of the kids I teach. They wrote that men should not beat their wives, and they should not have more that one wife... this impressed me. But still I sense this matcho attitude... but its not like its only here. Men act the same way in Norway sometimes. Men are suppose to be men, isnt that what we like about them afterall? And interestingly, it was one of the groups with a lot of girls that wrote that men are the head of the family, that they should provide for the family and so on. They are the head, but are also suppose to love their wives. Here many girls believe that if your husband does not beat you he does not love you. This of coarse does not reflect everybodys oppinion, but has given me something to chew on. What about the love that uplifts and cherishes, that gives freedom; freedom to follow your dreams and be all that you can be. What about the love that is supporting and believing? This is what I would love to see these kids grasp. That the boys could love the girls with a sisterly love that wants the best for them and that shows that they are worth so so so much. That they should be protected, not because they are property, but because they are highly valued and loved.
So this is my challenge and what a would love to convey and se the kids grasp and agree. How, I have not yet figured out.
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